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The Trials Of Writing Porn
Feb. 20th, 2007 08:39 pmSo, I'm taking a creative writing course this semester. It's totally a blast so far. The class is funny and clever, and the professor is a dear family friend who I love to bits. She has assigned us a writing exercise in which we are to write a sex scene. Best assignment ever. I'm afraid I may have outed myself as a bit of a pervert when I offered to give some tips to my classmates, most of which had never attempted to write sex before. Oh well. They all laughed pretty hard when I sternly told them to never use funny euphemisms when writing sex. I was too demure to give examples, but as long as no one ends up using phrases like 'steaming man-wand of love' or talking about trains going into tunnels, I'll know they took my valuable advice to heart.
I'm having a bit of a hard time writing my sex scene, though, since my characters will just not put it in. Instead, I have five pages of description, build-up, and character development. Who wants that?! My professor has already laughed at me though, and assured me that she understands that I'm a novelist, and as such have extremely difficulty containing my stories to three or four pages. Oh well. When I turn this in, I'll assure her that I'll understand if she wants to skip over the boring parts and go straight to the porn.
Also, I have come to the sad conclusion that I am not fooling my mother at all when it comes to what sort of things I write. She always begs to see what I'm writing, so I showed her a short story I did for class about two sailors on a ship. As she started reading it, she immediately furrowed her brow and said, "Is this going to be porn?" I said, "Um. No." She said, "Oh, okay, I was just wondering because I was going to say that maybe you shouldn't show that to your teacher." I love the implication than she not only knows I write the man porn, but she would be okay with me showing it to her as long as I don't inflict it on my professor. It's extra-funny because the professor is one of her best friends and honestly, they are two of the most pervy women I've ever met. It's really no wonder I ended up the way I did.
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In other news! Recs and fic are forthcoming, I swear. I've just been a little overwhelmed this semester. I forget how much full-time school takes it out of me. I don't know how some of you do work and school, I really don't. I think I would die. When I get home it's about all I can do to finish my work and then read porn and watch dumb TV. Arg. Must build up constitution so I can do more! Failing that, must acquire knowledge of everything in the world and become independently wealthy, thus rendering school and work unnecessary. I think it's a good plan.
I'm having a bit of a hard time writing my sex scene, though, since my characters will just not put it in. Instead, I have five pages of description, build-up, and character development. Who wants that?! My professor has already laughed at me though, and assured me that she understands that I'm a novelist, and as such have extremely difficulty containing my stories to three or four pages. Oh well. When I turn this in, I'll assure her that I'll understand if she wants to skip over the boring parts and go straight to the porn.
Also, I have come to the sad conclusion that I am not fooling my mother at all when it comes to what sort of things I write. She always begs to see what I'm writing, so I showed her a short story I did for class about two sailors on a ship. As she started reading it, she immediately furrowed her brow and said, "Is this going to be porn?" I said, "Um. No." She said, "Oh, okay, I was just wondering because I was going to say that maybe you shouldn't show that to your teacher." I love the implication than she not only knows I write the man porn, but she would be okay with me showing it to her as long as I don't inflict it on my professor. It's extra-funny because the professor is one of her best friends and honestly, they are two of the most pervy women I've ever met. It's really no wonder I ended up the way I did.
-
In other news! Recs and fic are forthcoming, I swear. I've just been a little overwhelmed this semester. I forget how much full-time school takes it out of me. I don't know how some of you do work and school, I really don't. I think I would die. When I get home it's about all I can do to finish my work and then read porn and watch dumb TV. Arg. Must build up constitution so I can do more! Failing that, must acquire knowledge of everything in the world and become independently wealthy, thus rendering school and work unnecessary. I think it's a good plan.
