Aww, little baby. Gojyo has such a nice voice, you've captured him well.
Butbutbut, two things. One, typo in the first sentence - After Sanzo finished delivering the new of Cho Gonou’s death; obviously, news. Somehow, typos are at their worst in first sentences. XD
And in the sentence Everyone Gojyo had ever met either thought his hair was pretty (if they were women and didn’t know what it signified) or disgusting, because they knew it meant he was a half-breed, an abomination, I would recommend being consistant and putting both appositives [I think?] in paratheses, or both not. It would just fit better.
Otherwise, nice short little thing. I'd think it's a good thing that you can only write big things, though, especially so close to NaNoWriMo. Don't try to squash the longfic tendency till December. XD
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Butbutbut, two things. One, typo in the first sentence - After Sanzo finished delivering the new of Cho Gonou’s death; obviously, news. Somehow, typos are at their worst in first sentences. XD
And in the sentence Everyone Gojyo had ever met either thought his hair was pretty (if they were women and didn’t know what it signified) or disgusting, because they knew it meant he was a half-breed, an abomination, I would recommend being consistant and putting both appositives [I think?] in paratheses, or both not. It would just fit better.
Otherwise, nice short little thing. I'd think it's a good thing that you can only write big things, though, especially so close to NaNoWriMo. Don't try to squash the longfic tendency till December. XD