Emergency! Impending case of Death by Hiccups!

[cicer]

HELP. Have dreadful case of hiccups. Usual cures not working. Problem is so bad, have lost use of pronouns. Also, sort of in pain. Ow. Send help and your best hiccup-banishing ideas, I beg of you! I'll try anything at this point.

Well. Almost.

ETA: ...Hiccups stopped! Suddenly and mysteriously when I finally gave up on trying to cure them. Sheesh. Oh well. Feel free to share your favorite cures anyway! :D