cicer: (My life is pain)
[personal profile] cicer
Dear ants on my bedside table: Where the fuck are you coming from? And what do you want?!

I discovered a small crop of ants lurking there yesterday. Since my bedside table (and my bed) are jammed up underneath the window, I wasn't too puzzled about how they were getting in. The window, right? I mean, it hasn't been opened in about six months, but whatever. It's still a window, and the little bastards are sneaking in somehow. Even though I couldn't see any ants on the actual sill (inside or out) I Raid-ed the fuck out of area, and considered the job well done.

Except, nope, another little batch of a half-dozen or so turned up on the bedside table today. Again, no sign of ants on the sill.

OK, but clearly they are after something in the nightstand. My habit of keeping candy and cookies in there has caught up with me, I assume. I pull out the packages of sweets, prepared to find an orgy of ants glutting themselves, and find...nothing. No trace of ants on the cookies, or the candies (neither of which were well wrapped). No ants on the crumbs that have migrated to the corners of the drawers. Nada. In fact, there are no ants on the floor around the table, on the sides or back of the table, or (thank God) on my bed. Just...nothing. Apparently, the ants were solely containing themselves to the top of the table.

Are they after the glass of water I always keep there? Nope. The leaking bottle of cough syrup? Also no.

So apparently, the ants' master plan is thus:

Step One: Infiltrate enemy camp by means unknown.

Step Two: Take up position on the bedside table, and absolutely nowhere else.

Step Three: ???

Step Four: PROFIT.


WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM? WHAT ARE YOUR DEMANDS?! I am so confused right now.

Also, I keep thinking I feel something crawling on me, but then there is nothing. Oh God, what is happening.

Date: 2011-10-05 10:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grendelity.livejournal.com
1. That's creepy.

2. I recommend peppermint oil as repellant. Though if you don't know where they're coming from, that doesn't help you much. Ant traps? I dunno, man. The way I managed to solve my ant problem was by making the cats eat on a piano bench rather than the floor. A general wipe-down of surfaces might help things a lot.

Date: 2011-10-05 08:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
It's super creepy! They're ninja ants!

Will keep that in mind, thanks. We have a professional exterminator coming today, since I've already found several anthills in the backyard, so he'll be doing a quick sweep of the inside area too. But believe me, everything around my bedside table has been thoroughly wiped down.

Date: 2011-10-05 11:55 am (UTC)
chomiji: A chibi drawing of Akari from Samurai Deeper Kyo, holding a plate of mochi dumplings, with caption Coming Right Up! (Akari-mochi)
From: [personal profile] chomiji

Get Terro ant baits - the liquidy kind. The ants take the poisoned stuff back to their nest and share it with the rest of the ants, and they all die.

Date: 2011-10-05 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
We've got an exterminator coming, so hopefully that will clear things up. I'm not sure what product he uses, but he's been successful in banishing our ants before, so fingers are crossed it'll work again.

Die, ants, die!

Date: 2011-10-05 01:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whimsy-chan.livejournal.com
Seconding the Terro--but be prepared for an orgy of ants glutting themselves wherever you lay it out. It'll appear to get worse before it gets better. I can't remember if you have any pets, but you'll want to keep them away from the Terro. My cats didn't express much interest in the traps themselves, but they were fascinated by all these ants over here in this corner, wow cool! =^.^= I had to block off the area were the traps were laid out so the cats couldn't get in but the ants could. XD

Date: 2011-10-05 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
Fortunately (in this case, anyway) we are animal-free. So we are free to use insecticides with abandon! Mwahahaha!

Date: 2011-10-05 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mainekosama.livejournal.com
You'll probably want to go after them with baits... One thing that I found to drive them away and is non-toxic is cinnamon (I used it in the garden). They hate it. So you can maybe sprinkle it on places you definitely don't want them to go? Well unless you hate the smell...

Date: 2011-10-05 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
Oooh, good tip. We've got a pro coming over to set traps/spray stuff, but I will definitely be adding a couple pinches of cinnamon around my windowsill, just in case. And I love the smell of cinnamon, so it's a win-win!

Date: 2011-10-05 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tucuxi.livejournal.com
Ewwwwww.

Apparently I have no helpful advice at all at the moment, just a kneejerk reaction to LOTS OF ANTS. Um. Good luck getting rid of them?

I know what you mean about feeling things crawling on you: that would totally happen to me, too. Ewwww. *shudders*

Date: 2011-10-05 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
I knooooow.

Fortunately, there weren't LOTS OF ANTS. They've just been appearing in teams of half a dozen or so. If there were a whole line of them marching in, I'd pretty much have to burn down my entire bedroom. I hate ants.

I am very susceptible to psychosomatic reactions like that. All day I've been flinching and frantically swatting at myself because I feel something!!! But, nope. No ants on me. :|

Date: 2011-10-05 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tucuxi.livejournal.com
Oh, that's good. We had swarms of ants (like, counter is BLACK swarms) in my kitchen a year or two ago, and it was awful. Good luck figuring out where they're coming from!

For me it's lice. Anyone starts talking about headlice and my head itches all day long.

Date: 2011-10-05 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
OH MY GOD, LICE.

I had a horrible case of lice when I was in second grade, and I am still seriously traumatized by it. If my head feels even the slightest bit itchy, I have to resist the temptation to dunk my head in a bucket of bleach. I still end up inspecting my scalp periodically, just in case.

...It occurs to me that this is perhaps more information than anyone needed, regarding my mental state. Oops. Ahem. What I meant to say was, I feel ya, sister.

Date: 2011-10-05 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tucuxi.livejournal.com
I hate lice so damn much.

How about a reciprocal overshare? ;) I got it four times in a row when I was in grade school, because our teacher wouldn't clean the classroom. It got to the point where we had to use A200, Nix, bleach and vinegar, because any of them alone didn't work.

Date: 2011-10-05 09:47 pm (UTC)
ext_3245: (sh confusion has his masterpiece)
From: [identity profile] rheasilvia.livejournal.com
Obviously, the ants are conducting a psychological experiment, possibly to determine the cognitive capacity of single individuum intelligences like humans (who some ant colony scholars maintain can't really think at all, with a pitiful single brain). DUH.

Date: 2011-10-06 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
NOOOOOO!

Seriously, I'm a bad subject for brain-type experiments. My brain is definitely not working so well these days. What must the ants think of me?!

Date: 2011-10-05 10:50 pm (UTC)
ext_24935: made by <lj user="seapoke"> (SOAP)
From: [identity profile] devikun.livejournal.com
I'm with [livejournal.com profile] rheasilvia. I've found them in my tissue box before. Perfectly clean tissues, no food crumbs or spilled liquids anywhere. I am convinced that in their tiny little advanced alien brains there is a very good reason for this behaviour, however I am just too big and slow and dumb to understand it.

But you know, if they're only appearing in small teams, maybe they're just scouting parties looking for potential food? And when they don't find anything they'll return to the main army with negative reports.

And if you kill them the army will never know what happened and send more! With heavier weaponry! And possibly the ant version of Arnold Schwarzenegger or something.

Date: 2011-10-06 01:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
Traps have been laid, so hopefully the scouting parties will discover the poison therein and take it back to the whole group. Mwahaha.

Seriously, though, I'm half-convinced the ants are just messing with me at this point. Maybe that's how they entertain themselves? Trolling the humans?

Date: 2011-10-06 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] terrayndian.livejournal.com
That is one of many reasons I left Irvine, CA--the place was a freaking anthill. One crumb left on the counter, a whole line of ants would appear within hours. Everything went into plastic bags (cereal, chips, anything with a non-sealable opening), and yet they'd always manage to find something to gnaw on. And just because you don't see an opening, you'd be surprised what they use--pipes, wires, outlets, aka whatever caused a cut in a wall. At least they weren't the biting kind. I'd just spray them with cleaner and wipe up the whole line of the buggers.

Fun fact--the mascot for Univ of CA, Irvine is an anteater. When I asked people if it was because Irvine is an anthill, they would stare at me blankly for a second before saying, "Huh, that would make sense." *shakes head*

Date: 2011-10-06 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cicer.livejournal.com
Ants loooove it here in SoCal. I don't know if it's the heat or the dryness or what, but they obviously do like it here, because there are always tons of them lurking around. I guess I should count my blessing that, as you said, they aren't the bitey kind. And dealing with ants is far less onerous that dealing with, say, spiders or roaches or whatever. Urg. Still.

(And yeah, they are fucking sneaky. I've seen them come out of the outlets too! Augh!)

Ha! I forgot the UCI mascot was an anteater! Very appropriate, yes.

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