Oct. 5th, 2011

cicer: (My life is pain)
Dear ants on my bedside table: Where the fuck are you coming from? And what do you want?!

I discovered a small crop of ants lurking there yesterday. Since my bedside table (and my bed) are jammed up underneath the window, I wasn't too puzzled about how they were getting in. The window, right? I mean, it hasn't been opened in about six months, but whatever. It's still a window, and the little bastards are sneaking in somehow. Even though I couldn't see any ants on the actual sill (inside or out) I Raid-ed the fuck out of area, and considered the job well done.

Except, nope, another little batch of a half-dozen or so turned up on the bedside table today. Again, no sign of ants on the sill.

OK, but clearly they are after something in the nightstand. My habit of keeping candy and cookies in there has caught up with me, I assume. I pull out the packages of sweets, prepared to find an orgy of ants glutting themselves, and find...nothing. No trace of ants on the cookies, or the candies (neither of which were well wrapped). No ants on the crumbs that have migrated to the corners of the drawers. Nada. In fact, there are no ants on the floor around the table, on the sides or back of the table, or (thank God) on my bed. Just...nothing. Apparently, the ants were solely containing themselves to the top of the table.

Are they after the glass of water I always keep there? Nope. The leaking bottle of cough syrup? Also no.

So apparently, the ants' master plan is thus:

Step One: Infiltrate enemy camp by means unknown.

Step Two: Take up position on the bedside table, and absolutely nowhere else.

Step Three: ???

Step Four: PROFIT.


WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM? WHAT ARE YOUR DEMANDS?! I am so confused right now.

Also, I keep thinking I feel something crawling on me, but then there is nothing. Oh God, what is happening.

February 2012

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